My first few months of posts on this blog are nothing but QotD answers; I was maintaining my main blog, Left From Seattle, when I joined Vox. The majority of the posts on LFS are pure navel gazing or memoir style writing and thought I would do most of my posting there but I wanted to see what Vox was all about.
And that's pretty much what happened for most of last year. Then, right around New Year's, I just got blogged out. I quit updating LFS, and although I tried to switch from random stories to a longer, book length memoir in pieces, it just became too exhausting and painful to write. Vox let me fill in with non-emotionally draining posts about books and movies and I occasionally managed to post to other blogsites with travel entries or product reviews. This has all been working well and I enjoy having the various, more specific blogs.
But I miss the navel gazing. And I feel like whining.
You've been warned.
First and foremost: I find myself missing city life. I find myself wanting to move to Tokyo. The thing is, I hate Tokyo. It's crowded and loud and irritating to be in for more than a few hours at a stretch. But when I find new videos on YouTube or someplace from some kid and his or her friends all about their hours spent wandering around Akihabara, I want to be there. I feel like it's my Tokyo and I don't know it anymore and who the hell are all these kids there anyway?
I think kids is the operative word. I'm a bit over thirty and getting further onto the wrong side of that milestone every year. Life has settled down a lot – I've gotten married. I work at a steady job. We're in the process of buying a house and I may open my own business in the next couple of years. Life is good, but not exciting.
When I first moved to Japan, it was meant to be a temporary thing. This was only stage one of a five year, round the world odyssey that would give me so much to write about I would settle onto some Caribbean island and fall into a routine of writing all night and drinking all day. When I first arrived, I would spend every weekend in Tokyo, going to bars and clubs and museums and I knew dozens of people involved in cool art projects or side businesses or…just everything.
Now, not so much. Truthfully, I don't want that lifestyle anymore. Hell, my liver can't take that lifestyle anymore, but I miss knowing tons of people and always being on the scene. I know I don't really want to live in Tokyo as it would only drive me crazy in the short run and kill me in the long, but…I don't know. I'm just feeling old and bored I guess.
Compounding it all was a random accident of the MySpace persuasion today. I came across, through a series of links of people who know people who know people who know me, an…ex-girlfriend isn't the right word so much as ex-friend, who happens to be a woman (troubled, troubled relationship as friends and then things got worse) and who has written a novel and is shopping it around. I should feel happy for her; I shouldn't feel like it's a competition when, as far as I know, she doesn't know that I've become interested in writing, but I do. And I hate that she's winning.
So that's it. That's the navel gazing post. Hopefully there won't be many more of these any time soon, as I plan to get back to my own life, or lack of one.
Cheers, thanks for reading.