Much of My Life

“But that applies to so much of my life.”

Insert this line after almost any statement of ability and you’ll have an instant double, or even triple, entendre.

For example: While playing soccer this weekend, one team mate made the statement: “I just can’t get it to go up.” Of course, he was referring to his ability to loft the ball during a pass.However, when followed by the line: “But that applies to so much of my life.” Many chuckles are had, as people run through the various possible meanings of those two statements together.

The beauty of this is that the speaker of the second line is not saying anything untoward or improper. After all, the speaker could be referring to his inability to raise his test scores.

This cleanliness makes the line all that much more useful in many situations. Crude language or obscene jokes can bring the tone of the conversation down very quickly. However, by leaving all improper comments left unsaid, one is leaving the audience to do the dirty work for themselves. Naturally this could be taken to mean that, should one be offended, it is not the speaker’s mind that is “dirty” but the listener’s.

Of course, communication is not made up of words alone. Body language, tone of voice, and proper timing of the utterance is crucial to making a witticism. In this case, one has several choices, but I believe that a soft, innocent expression of sincere lament is most effective. In other situations and amongst proper company one may be, in turns, smug, grandiose, pained, amused, tired, conspiratorial, impassioned, and even angry.

I leave the particulars of each situation to individuals as no essay can hope to cover ever possible executable use of the phrase.However, we can, in this essay look at a few more phrases, which, should they arise in conversation, be followed by our wit:

“I’m having a hard time getting it / not getting it to work.”

“I wish I could make it faster / slower.”

“I can’t get it in / out / up / down.”

“If I could just get it to stop / start working, I’d be great / fantastic!”

As you can see, each of these sentences lends itself to several variations, all of which would be fine to follow with the phrase “…that applies to so many areas of my life.” Again, I leave it you, the reader to decide when, and how often to use this particular witticism.

One final note, in the opening of this essay, I preceded our witticism with the word “but”. It should clear to all that this one word may not constitute the smoothest of segues and should be replaced as the situation demands by connectors like “yeah” or “of course”.

Thank you for reading this small essay and I would encourage you all to use this phrase but sparingly, lest it lose its humorous qualities. Thank you, again.



Filed under True Thoughts on True Life

2 responses to “Much of My Life

  1. OMRS

    I’ve been stewing about this for an hour or so now and, as one linguistics enthusiast to another, I submit the following for your consideration and keenly awaited response: is the effect you have described maintained if (as I have been doing for years,and now find myself compelled to question)the phrase “so much of my life” is supplanted with “my dinky”?

  2. There are no substitutions. All other phrases must be examined on their own merits.

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